When I was pregnant with my first baby, I didn’t really have anyone I was close to that could tell me about what to expect with postpartum recovery. I had spent a lot of time reading, researching, and learning how to care for a newborn, but in hindsight, I completely neglected to learn about what was going to happen to MY body after birth. In sharing these experiences and the top things I wish I would have known, I hope it helps a pregnant mom-to-be or a brand new mom have a better idea what to expect. I will also share practical tips for what I did to help with each of these.

1. Pain In The Perineum and Pelvis

   Now, when someone is about to have a baby, we all know it it’s not exactly supposed to feel good. But I wasn’t prepared for how much pain I felt in my perineum and pelvis right after giving birth. I had a vaginal delivery and had an episiotomy, and so I had several stitches down there. Due to the stitches and the trauma of birth in general, I had a lot of swelling, discomfort, and pain down there that lasted several days. I was on pain medication, which helped. The other things that helped a lot were perineal ice packs in the first 48 hours and plenty of witch hazel pads and dermaplast spray. In addition to the topical pain and discomfort, I also felt aching deep in my pelvis—as if my pelvic bones had been forced to open…which, of course, they had. I wasn’t prepared for any of this, and so it caught me by surprise. It got quite a bit better after about a week, and then by two weeks after I was doing just fine in this department. I will also say that this part of recovery was a breeze after baby #2, #3, and #4. I’m not sure if that was because my body just knew what to do or if simply knowing what to expect made a big difference, but either way, it was much better the second time around.

2. Terrible Constipation Can Happen

   For me, I think it was a combination of the pain medications that can cause constipation, plus simply having significant discomfort down there, plus fear of affecting my stitches…but it took me nine days to go “number two” (as we say in my house with my littles!). You read that correctly: nine days until I was able to go to the bathroom after having my first baby. By the time I finally went, it was probably worse than giving birth.  It was traumatizing, and of course, I was extremely uncomfortable in those nine days between birth and my first bowel movement. When it was time to have my 2nd baby, I didn’t mess around—I started taking stool softeners daily starting at 38 weeks and continued taking them through birth and afterwards until I was regular again in that department. Of course, follow your medical provider’s guidance on any medications or supplements, but the stool softeners made all the difference for me for my three later pregnancies and births. Another tip is to make sure you are drinking plenty of water, as this will help you avoid constipation and support nursing and healing more generally.

3. My Breasts were Hard and Hot as my Milk Came In

   I was completely unprepared for this one! When you give birth, your body starts making colostrum right away, but your full milk doesn’t start to come in until a few days later. And boy, it comes in with a vengeance. My breasts got rock hard and hot. It was very uncomfortable, especially when trying to lay down at night or when I was getting close to the next feeding. Nursing my baby helped this feeling temporarily, but it was definitely an uncomfortable couple of days. Thankfully the worst of this ends within a few days and your supply fully comes in and then starts to regulate, but the first few days of milk production are not comfortable. Once you regulate again, your breasts are still full of milk; they just go back to being soft. The hardness only comes back if you’ve gone quite awhile between feedings.

4. The Sleep Deprivation

   I knew, of course, that having a newborn would require round the clock care, especially in the early days. But I had never been through sleep deprivation quite like this or gotten such little sleep at any other point in my life, and I’ve always been someone who loves and needs around 8 hours a night to function. The reality is that newborns feed very frequently. Since I was nursing and wanted both to be there to feed my baby and also to ensure my milk supply to come in, I was up at least every two to three hours around the clock with baby. In the first three to four days after birth, the longest stretch of sleep I slept at any one time was about one and a half to two hours straight. I would try to get at least three of those stretches in a twenty-four hour period, and as long as I was able to do that, I feel pretty good. I will say that although that little amount of sleep is not sustainable for any length of time, I found a depth of strength within myself that I didn’t know existed during this time. Perhaps it’s a combination of the postpartum hormones and new mom superpowers helping you power through—but regardless, I was able to function on less sleep than I ever had. That being said, sleep deprivation is not sustainable and can lead to worse physical and mental health outcomes for new moms. This is where the support of a partner, spouse, family member, or friend really can help. Someone who can take some of the load of cooking, cleaning, bottle washing, care of the baby, or anything else so that you can get more sleep. I recall feeling absolutely amazing once I got my first 4-hour stretch of sleep about a month after giving birth.

5. Breastfeeding can hurt at first

   This happens for a few reasons - first, your nipples have not been through this before and aren’t used to it. Also, learning HOW to breastfeed doesn’t come naturally to many new moms. Although babies do have a reflex to suck when they’re born, they don’t always know how to latch on properly. A poor latch combined with the high frequency of newborn feeds can quickly cause nipple pain and discomfort, and in some cases, it can become quite severe and result in stopping breastfeeding altogether. There are definitely some things that can help with this. First of all, be sure to get guidance from your nurse, midwife, or ideally a lactation consultant while you’re in the hospital or birthing center. These are experts who can help you and your baby troubleshoot to make sure you’re getting a good latch. Next, there are topical lanolin nipple creams that you can use on your nipples that are safe for baby to ease discomfort. Also, you could even switch to pumping temporarily if your nipples are in severe pain and need a day or two to heal. Rest assured, there are a ton of resources out there to help you breastfeed, and once you get through the initial learning curve and nipple pain, it’s honestly been one of my greatest joys of motherhood. I’ve had 66 months and counting of breastfeeding with my 4 kids, and I’m glad I stuck with it when I was struggling with nipple pain and how to latch with my first baby. And, for those who are curious, it is completely pain-free once you and baby are able to latch properly (until, of course, they start teething—I’m living through that right now with my 10-month old baby!).

Conclusion

Now, I know we spent this entire article highlighting some of the not-so-great or not-so-comfortable things that happen right after having a baby. I don’t share these to scare you—rather, I share them so that you know better what to expect. Clearly, as I’ve had 4 kids, I feel that all of these temporary challenges are COMPLETELY worth it. The bottom line is that you are stronger than you even know, and I truly believe there are some superpowers that come along with becoming a mother.

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